New Day, Different Issues

Glorious fall day - supposed to be 75 degrees!!  Not for long - so we'll take it!  Well - so much for the polite little gentleman - we're back to BOSSY 'have it my way' Sam.  Here's Sam:  NO, come back up to the top of the stairs (where we get Nasya from daycare) you have to be behind me!!!!!  NOW!  I tell him 'NO' follow directions and get down here now - the battle ensues and it's obvious he's not giving in and I'm tried of people staring and I'm tired of being there ten times longer than a typical parent!!!  I go up - he leads and then he's angry because I open the door - typical, I should have known.  Then he's angry because I don't unlock his car door quick enough.  Then I take off too soon before he's 'settled' in his seat to HIS satisfaction - once again - typical, just getting impatient and beyond by now. 

His jackets/shirts have to be buttoned/zipped ALL the way EVERY time.  His pants have to hook a certain way- he won't always wear pants that button.  He talks  non stop and when I'm tired - we don't mix well.  I'm tired because HE is not sleeping well - again.  Two + weeks now.  Just got done being sick and don't want to go down that road again......not much I can do about 'rest' now that he really doesn't nap.  TRYING to get him to have 'relaxation' time each day - easier said than done. 

Well, I've ordered an X-lg hammock - the kind you can't flip out of (I hope).  I plan to hook this under his loft bed and HOPE to GOD (thanks in advance!!!) that he'll sleep in it and learn to swing/rock himself back to sleep ~ WITHOUT mommy or daddy having to wake, pick him up and carry him out to our rockers every time!!  This would be a miracle, a dream come true and absolutely fantastic!!!  My husband has another idea - similar but I'm not sure about it since he said it wouldn't swing.  This is my last idea to help our situation - if anyone reading this is an expert and can help us - PLEASE do!!

FYI - the ticket thing worked this morning - three more to go.  As with everything else - this might only work for a week or a month and then we're back to square one - so for now I am happy in the moment.  That is all I can expect.  Ciao!~

AH, a Big Thank You!

A BIG thank you to all my friends and family who allowed me to spill my heart out last blog - and still love me.  If you took it personally - maybe look at why - or look at it from my motherly perspective and if it were your life:-)  Things/issues tend to pile up and I needed to share ~ now I digress:-)

We had the kids pictures taken yesterday and I have to say - Sam was a perfect gentleman!!  Even one of the photographers said how sweet and polite he was - he did GREAT!!!!!  Nasya was the story of the morning - she petered out quite quickly.  OH well - we got a few good shots. 

Can't wait - my hubby and I are receiving a much needed small get-a-way next weekend - we have been 'gifted' time and fortunately have two people to help with the kids while we are away.  We basically have two days and a morning to do what we wish!!  We'll just have to pay for food and whatever we decide to do - for all I care we could just stay in the nice home we will be 'living' in for 36 hours!!  Swim, hot tub-it, sleep, eat, go for walks - we don't really have the money this week to spend so I'm sure that's what we'll be doing.  YAY. 

Getting on the bus, going to school, going to OT on Fridays, etc. - have not been easy.  Sam is not wanting to go for some reason.  When we were at OT this past Friday - she mentioned, "Oh, he's not liking the big transitions?!"  Think thats it!  Light bulb flashing......So, the therapist immediately gave us an envelope/picture reward system and we'll see if it works come tomorrow morning.  PLEASE!!!

To Tell the Truth, or To NOT Tell the Truth...That is the Question!

When I started this blog, I knew there were risks.  First off, it is online - need I say more?  Secondly, my intentions are never to offend, however, to tell the truth - never in a hurtful manner.  And thirdly - I knew that some might have a difficult time looking past the AS and what I write about and still seeing our beautiful boy for who he is - not a monster.  The third risk is the one I really struggle with - he is my son - God's perfect creation.   

I could spend my time right now telling you how very difficult the last couple weeks have been and what we've been through (or how last night was AWFUL and this morning Sam screamed and threw a fit even out by the bus - I ended up having to wake Sya (on her birthday) and rush getting her ready so I could get Sam to school) - but I am not going to.   I am going to veer off track for this one.......if you are overly sensitive and tend to take things personal, let me recommend you not read any further.  If you are able to consider others and be open minded, and know that these words are coming from care/concern - please continue:-).

I need a place where I can be honest and let my true feelings out - I have no where to do so.  I have found that this blog may not have been such a great idea.  I feel I have done my son a disservice by writing about our life.  I haven not created a 'safe' environment or a better social life for him by writing this blog.  Some are able to embrace him and get to know him more.  Others have made no effort really to be a bigger part of his/our life.  "We don't want our kids to be influenced by his behavior," "We don't want to deal with him, it's too stressful," He's so obnoxious, we just won't go over there...," "You should have seen the tantrum last time we saw him, it's riduculous those parents can't control him!  We don't want our kids doing that."  ETC.  Just a few thoughts I'm sure some people have had.  

Let me say.....if anyone has said or thought any of these things, they do not know Sam's TRUE self and the reality.  ALL children go through phases; ALL children have behavior issues and are NOT perfect; ALL children make bad choices at one time or another and NOT because of someone else's 'bad' kid.......it is NOT always someone elses fault for your child's bad choice - it is a natural way of life.  Adults AND children can learn from any circumstance IF the parents choose to TEACH their child about 'differences' and compassion ~ Not judging and RUNNING from 'differences'.  No, I am not shouting with my capitalizations......I am just making a point.  I do not want to sound defensive - but I am defending my son.  I am defending his 'difference' from others - I thank GOD for how amazing and funny and intelligent Sam is.  Yes, we have difficulties - yes it is stressful at times - I thank God he gave Sam to us and not to parents that would hide him and push others away because they are ashamed or don't want to deal.  

We go to functions - family or not - and it is so easy for everyone to blame him for everything.  It is so disheartening and makes me so angry.  I watch as other kids 'taunt' him and then he reacts (as ANY kid would do) and he is the one to get yelled at or corrected.  I have decided to not allow this to go by anymore - I will speak up in his defense and I pray that God helps me choose my words wisely.  The last thing I want is to upset anyone - however, I do not want these feelings to fester and I just want to educate people from our persepctive and get them to think.  If you have been offended or took these things personally - maybe ask why? or literally try to put yourself in our shoes......try.

All of this frustration to say - get out of your comfort zone - get to know 'how' to be with a unique little man without being reserved/hesitant/judgemental/worried about 'bad' influences ETC - he's 4 - he's human - he is God's creation.  K - now I need to find some time to take a nap......and maybe find a 'happy' pill:-)      

"Back to Life, Back to Reality, Back to Life.....However Do Ya...."

Yes my 80's (early 90's:-))friends - it is that song....could have titled it "Back From Rock Bottom," "It Was Bound to Happen," etc.   WOWsers!  About a month ago I was dealing with bronchitis (before that was sick tooooo) then last week, after my kids and hubby had a yucky 'bug' for 12-24 hrs, I got it.  Tuesday was the day it all began - no big deal, I handle this, it will all be over early Wednesday.  It wasn't.  And then it still wasn't. 

I did not see daylight from Tuesday eve until Thursday 3:45pm when my hubby forced me to go to the doctor.  As you can imagine, I hadn't showered let alone comb my hair!  I mustered all my strength to stand in the shower, throw my hair up, get dressed and go for a ride.  WOW it was bright - now I know why they gave the miners in Chile such nice sunglasses!  Anyway, after one and a half hours at the doctor - I was told my immune system was shot - DUH - Ya think??  After four years of crappy sleep and now this........it was bound to happen.

I told him that from the start - I didn't think it was anything else but I understand they have to rule out other things.  So - got a lovely shot in the rear (steriods:-)) and some mega anti-biotics to clear up any remaining bronchial infections.  It is now five days since all the drug interactions and I feel pretty well close to normal.  YAY!!  I HAVE to mention Big Daddy here - he was amazing and I (and the children) were so blessed that he could take time off to be here - because I was soooooo out of it!!  He sacrificed a lot at work - but no one else could have filled his HUGE shoes - did I say HUGE??:-)

NOW - to just figure out a way to get GREAT sleep and keep on top of my health - would be great!!

More later.....in the NEXT blog.....

'Stupid Mommy!!!'

Ugh.  Thats the only word I can type that describes the last week.  Sleep - not great at all.  First off let me start with the fact that this family has been dealing with one sickness after another - a week of high-temp flu; two+weeks of sinus infec. & bronchitis - I'm still struggling; and now my little Dolly threw up three times last night - nothing since 7:30pm so it's been 12 hours - hope it lasts!!!  

So, on top of the sickness we deal with Sam and sleep.  Daddy's been gone all week so I'm on my own.  Two nights ago - Sam woke up around 2:45 yelling for me so I ran in his room.  Remember he is in a loft bed - I cannot just pick him up, so he's sitting up yelling/crying and I can tell he has no idea what is going on.  In the meantime he's yelling 'stupid mommy' over and over, he threw his pillow at me and was going to throw his sippy at me until I grabbed it first.  So, I try to calm him and ask if he wants to rock.  He tells me not to talk and starts pounding the wall, our bedroom wall.  Ironic since I almost hung our wedding photos back up that same day - thinking his 'fits' might be subsiding during the night.  SO glad I ran out of time:-)  This went on for quite a while and finally I convinced him to come down and rock - my remaining calm I think is what totally  helped - while it's not easy listening to horrible things being said about you and things being thrown at you - I did realize he he had no idea what what going on.  

We rocked and it still was stressful - NOT fast enough no matter what I did.  It had been some time since we'd gone through this in such a horrible way.  Granted, on a daily basis we never do it right but he has not had his angry kicking fits because of this - until lately.  After about 30+ minutes of this I finally calmed him down, he went potty and then he had to sit at the table and drink a little juice.  By this time, I'm not going to fight.  So, we sat at the table quietly until he looked like he was going to fall asleep and I convinced him to get back in bed.  So he did and so did I.  OH, then both kids decided it would be fun to wake up at 6:45.  'Morning mommy!!!'

Hilarious Anger

Okay - so we went to the farm briefly today and on the way home Sam was VERY naughty and would not listen (not to mention his sister was copying everything he was doing) - so I pulled over for a 'time out' and told him if he did not follow directions the rest of the way home we would take away his Iron Man birthday present.  Well, he was still naughty kicking my seat, yelling, being out right obnoxious!!! 

We got home and I immediately went in, took his Iron Man set and put it in the closet.  He came in and I did not say a word - he went directly to where his Iron Man 'WAS' and it was silent.....until - (Wait - I have to tell you I got him a little voice recorder  - he LOVES to listen to himself and has a blast recording himself over and over and over and over.... OKAY now for the remainder of the story).  It was silent until I heard him say sobbingly, "They took my Iron Man forever!" and then I heard it repeat on the recorder.  Then he yelled like he was mad and then played the recording again - and he started laughing (so did I as I was feeding Nasya in the kitchen).  Then he yelled a little more and a little longer and played the recording - laughing even harder - so was I!!  Then - (remember he is a FOUR year old Anderson BOY) he started saying, "Daddy farty pants, Mommy farty pants, Nasya  farty pants" and then playing the recording.........What I thought was going to be AWFUL to deal with turned out to be hilarious!!!  I am so glad he found a way to deal with it without even knowing it - PRAISE GOD!!!!!  We get sooo tired of battles - when we are pleasantly surprised - it is wonderful. 

"Backfired....shock!" and "POOP"

Well - overall a GREAT birthday for Sam J. and Nasya toooo:-)  The Iron Man red/yellow cupcakes and HIS special 'big' boy cake - backfired!!!  I was so proud of my 'creation' since no one carries Iron Man cake decor - - then he says, "no I don't like them - there's no Iron Man!"  He only blew out his candles and that was that - whatever!  Then, I took his IM banner and cut off the Iron Man pics (we don't want 'Happy Birthday' on his wall all year!) and hung them up on his closet doors and told him to come look - you got it - backfired!!  He says, "It's ugly, I don't like it, put it back on the other thing!  It looks horrible!"  Again, whatever.  Otherwise - he got a trampoline (a sensory thing that we requested!), an Iron Man figurine with things to shoot, tool "work station" he calls it and you better not touch it, etc.  He is getting VERY bad a hoarding 'HIS' things - painstakingly puting them up high and out of reach from Sya in particular and sometimes us.  I was getting ready for company for his party (MORE on that later....) and cleared off his clutter from the fireplace shelf.  He woke from his nap and that was the first thing he noticed and I saw a meltdown coming on so I put everything back - I just didn't have time to deal!!!

K - so the party itself.  We had been smelling stinky drains for a few months now - at least.  We'd been using Draino, the little ball things that you put down a disposal, and I noticed nothing was working!!!  Well - the day of ALL days - the drains downstairs were backing up and NOT going down one bit!  The utility sink down there had been filling up half way whenever I did laundry but thats it (DUH something was obviously wrong - but good 'ole Big Daddy ALWAYS says, 'don't worry about it' or 'it will be fine.'  So I usually take matters into my own hands and get ready for a fight ('discussion') - this time I did not. 

Happy Birthday Sam - the house smells like POOP - you're favorite word!!!!!  Yes - Don bought some super powered drain stuff at Ace and WOWOWOWOW I have never smelled such horrible smells in my life - the carbon monoxide detector would not stop going off - we NEEDED to get out of here - but wait......WE HAD A PARTY!!!!  We ended up packing un-frosted cupcakes, plates, spoons, ice cream, frosting, ETC and having the party at Don's parents house - it all worked out but we had to come back home to the POOP smell - wasn't near as bad - but we survived and the kitties are still alive and happy.