Monday, November 8, 2010

New Day, Different Issues

Glorious fall day - supposed to be 75 degrees!!  Not for long - so we'll take it!  Well - so much for the polite little gentleman - we're back to BOSSY 'have it my way' Sam.  Here's Sam:  NO, come back up to the top of the stairs (where we get Nasya from daycare) you have to be behind me!!!!!  NOW!  I tell him 'NO' follow directions and get down here now - the battle ensues and it's obvious he's not giving in and I'm tried of people staring and I'm tired of being there ten times longer than a typical parent!!!  I go up - he leads and then he's angry because I open the door - typical, I should have known.  Then he's angry because I don't unlock his car door quick enough.  Then I take off too soon before he's 'settled' in his seat to HIS satisfaction - once again - typical, just getting impatient and beyond by now. 

His jackets/shirts have to be buttoned/zipped ALL the way EVERY time.  His pants have to hook a certain way- he won't always wear pants that button.  He talks  non stop and when I'm tired - we don't mix well.  I'm tired because HE is not sleeping well - again.  Two + weeks now.  Just got done being sick and don't want to go down that road again......not much I can do about 'rest' now that he really doesn't nap.  TRYING to get him to have 'relaxation' time each day - easier said than done. 

Well, I've ordered an X-lg hammock - the kind you can't flip out of (I hope).  I plan to hook this under his loft bed and HOPE to GOD (thanks in advance!!!) that he'll sleep in it and learn to swing/rock himself back to sleep ~ WITHOUT mommy or daddy having to wake, pick him up and carry him out to our rockers every time!!  This would be a miracle, a dream come true and absolutely fantastic!!!  My husband has another idea - similar but I'm not sure about it since he said it wouldn't swing.  This is my last idea to help our situation - if anyone reading this is an expert and can help us - PLEASE do!!

FYI - the ticket thing worked this morning - three more to go.  As with everything else - this might only work for a week or a month and then we're back to square one - so for now I am happy in the moment.  That is all I can expect.  Ciao!~

Sunday, November 7, 2010

AH, a Big Thank You!

A BIG thank you to all my friends and family who allowed me to spill my heart out last blog - and still love me.  If you took it personally - maybe look at why - or look at it from my motherly perspective and if it were your life:-)  Things/issues tend to pile up and I needed to share ~ now I digress:-)

We had the kids pictures taken yesterday and I have to say - Sam was a perfect gentleman!!  Even one of the photographers said how sweet and polite he was - he did GREAT!!!!!  Nasya was the story of the morning - she petered out quite quickly.  OH well - we got a few good shots. 

Can't wait - my hubby and I are receiving a much needed small get-a-way next weekend - we have been 'gifted' time and fortunately have two people to help with the kids while we are away.  We basically have two days and a morning to do what we wish!!  We'll just have to pay for food and whatever we decide to do - for all I care we could just stay in the nice home we will be 'living' in for 36 hours!!  Swim, hot tub-it, sleep, eat, go for walks - we don't really have the money this week to spend so I'm sure that's what we'll be doing.  YAY. 

Getting on the bus, going to school, going to OT on Fridays, etc. - have not been easy.  Sam is not wanting to go for some reason.  When we were at OT this past Friday - she mentioned, "Oh, he's not liking the big transitions?!"  Think thats it!  Light bulb flashing......So, the therapist immediately gave us an envelope/picture reward system and we'll see if it works come tomorrow morning.  PLEASE!!!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

To Tell the Truth, or To NOT Tell the Truth...That is the Question!

When I started this blog, I knew there were risks.  First off, it is online - need I say more?  Secondly, my intentions are never to offend, however, to tell the truth - never in a hurtful manner.  And thirdly - I knew that some might have a difficult time looking past the AS and what I write about and still seeing our beautiful boy for who he is - not a monster.  The third risk is the one I really struggle with - he is my son - God's perfect creation.   

I could spend my time right now telling you how very difficult the last couple weeks have been and what we've been through (or how last night was AWFUL and this morning Sam screamed and threw a fit even out by the bus - I ended up having to wake Sya (on her birthday) and rush getting her ready so I could get Sam to school) - but I am not going to.   I am going to veer off track for this one.......if you are overly sensitive and tend to take things personal, let me recommend you not read any further.  If you are able to consider others and be open minded, and know that these words are coming from care/concern - please continue:-).

I need a place where I can be honest and let my true feelings out - I have no where to do so.  I have found that this blog may not have been such a great idea.  I feel I have done my son a disservice by writing about our life.  I haven not created a 'safe' environment or a better social life for him by writing this blog.  Some are able to embrace him and get to know him more.  Others have made no effort really to be a bigger part of his/our life.  "We don't want our kids to be influenced by his behavior," "We don't want to deal with him, it's too stressful," He's so obnoxious, we just won't go over there...," "You should have seen the tantrum last time we saw him, it's riduculous those parents can't control him!  We don't want our kids doing that."  ETC.  Just a few thoughts I'm sure some people have had.  

Let me say.....if anyone has said or thought any of these things, they do not know Sam's TRUE self and the reality.  ALL children go through phases; ALL children have behavior issues and are NOT perfect; ALL children make bad choices at one time or another and NOT because of someone else's 'bad' is NOT always someone elses fault for your child's bad choice - it is a natural way of life.  Adults AND children can learn from any circumstance IF the parents choose to TEACH their child about 'differences' and compassion ~ Not judging and RUNNING from 'differences'.  No, I am not shouting with my capitalizations......I am just making a point.  I do not want to sound defensive - but I am defending my son.  I am defending his 'difference' from others - I thank GOD for how amazing and funny and intelligent Sam is.  Yes, we have difficulties - yes it is stressful at times - I thank God he gave Sam to us and not to parents that would hide him and push others away because they are ashamed or don't want to deal.  

We go to functions - family or not - and it is so easy for everyone to blame him for everything.  It is so disheartening and makes me so angry.  I watch as other kids 'taunt' him and then he reacts (as ANY kid would do) and he is the one to get yelled at or corrected.  I have decided to not allow this to go by anymore - I will speak up in his defense and I pray that God helps me choose my words wisely.  The last thing I want is to upset anyone - however, I do not want these feelings to fester and I just want to educate people from our persepctive and get them to think.  If you have been offended or took these things personally - maybe ask why? or literally try to put yourself in our shoes......try.

All of this frustration to say - get out of your comfort zone - get to know 'how' to be with a unique little man without being reserved/hesitant/judgemental/worried about 'bad' influences ETC - he's 4 - he's human - he is God's creation.  K - now I need to find some time to take a nap......and maybe find a 'happy' pill:-)