Yes folks, It's 4:19 AM

Hi - I just wanted to share that at 12:50 Sya woke - started taking care of her and Sam starts yelling. So I had the pleasure of dealing with both until both settled down and stopped crying. About a half hour or so and I was back in bed.

At 3:30 I was awoken to inconsolable cries and screams from Samuel - I ran into his room where he is holding a picture of daddy. He wanted absolutely nothing to do with me! I tried, would leave the room and would try again. I just didn't want Nasya to wake and then have the whole household awake at this ridiculous hour!! Plus, I wanted to be able to console Sam J. After about ten minutes in his room, he finally ran out to continue his meltdown in our room. Fine, at least it wasn't next to Nasya's room! So, I went in there to try to 'talk' to him and that was a big mistake! He ran all over - away from me - kicking on the bed, hiding behind the chair, screaming for daddy. I was trying to figure out if he knew what he was doing or not. I simply had to let him have his fit. I went out into the living room, he came out into the hall still yelling for daddy. I walked towards him and he ran back into our room saying - "NO NO go away!! I want daddy!!" Tried calling daddy but of course no answer - much of the time he sleeps like a HUGE rock. So, I went back out into the living room and waited. He eventually came out somewhat - I say SOMEWHAT chilled out and we rocked. He calmed down and I am now writing this blog - Joy to the world!! Going to try and go to bed - AGAIN. Hopefully I can stay there until at least 7:00AM! We shall see.....going to be fun with Linda and maybe Carly this am. A nap would be great today!

Random Thoughts....

Well, I have tooooo many stories to tell so I'm just going to ramble and try to give you snippits of the last week or however long it has been.......

And for you literary snobs out there, do not expect perfection from me as I have minimal time to squeeze these out! Thus, the reason you see updated blogs few and far between.

Sleep: always an issue in this house. Sam goes from having troubles staying in bed/falling asleep and having restless nights, to sleeping well all night and then mornings/after naps he is completely out of sorts - REALLY out of sorts. (For details, refer to my earlier blogs regarding his fast rocking/and tantrums). We are on the first part of the cycle that I mentioned. It is tiring and really causes nothing to get done on my list unless I ignore the children during the day. I'm so tired I need to/should take a nap IF Sam does, however, as you can see today I am blogging due to high 'follower' complaint:-) Totally fine, lets me know people are reading.....

VBS went well, we only had one day he did not want to go. Friday, daddy took him while I had a 'girls night out'. I of course ended up getting texts telling me he was having a meltdown at home before they were to go to VBS and that he probably wasn't going. He HAD to go, they were getting their decorated t-shirts back and all other goodies they made! I texted back - "Put in his CD of VBS music" which he loves!! Of course, Don texted back that I was the smartest person he knew:-) Duh, like he shouldn't know that all ready! Daddy had been gone for the week so he did not know that Sam was loving this music and was helping him to get going. It didn't help he took a late nap, which causes him to almost always be a bear the rest of the day. Yes, he went, daddy had to leave him crying on the floor - but he ended up having a great time. Never easy to leave your kid ANYWHERE in those conditions!

This weekend was great, we had the whole time as a family. Don is sooooo good at having the kids interact. He's always telling them to hug, kiss, wrestle, etc. I guess I prefer to do this with daddy in the house in case things get really out of hand we can each take one:-) - the wrestling part anyway. We had many laughs and many water fights. Nasya LOVES water - she is always in the bird bath, Rocko's dog dishes and in his pool in full clothing, tennis shoes and all. So, I am always prepared to have a soaked little girl by the time we go in. Sam, just loves to SWING and soak everyone with his big water guns that mommy 'thought' was a great clearance purchase. Little did I know how persistent and good he would be at aiming! I've gotten him to pretend that his swing set fort is a 'Pirate Ship' in the Turks & Caicos - which is where Don and I went for our 10 yr. and Sam always talks about it. So, it is fun to see him pretend. I've noticed this summer he is really starting to grasp the concept! YAYAY!!! We still have times when he gets upset because he is so literal and cannot see past that. We just have to be patient:-)

Today we were at daycare by 8:45!!! That is fantastic! Only 15 minutes late - he was so proud he went right up to his teacher and said "Ms Anela, we weren't late today!!!" He woke up fairly decent (I prepped him last night, which does not always work) after I told him - "If you wake up cranky, count to ten and tell yourself it's going to be an AWESOME day!!" He repeated that after me, which was so cute, and not sure if he actually did that, but he was a good boy while I got everyone ready. That is, until we were ready to go out the door! I thought, OF COURSE, it was too good to be true that we would be walking out the door with NO issues this morning!! I was getting our bags and he started making his 'frustrated noises' (I know some of his noises mean trouble but I was to far away to do anything) behind Nasya and then smacked her down to the ground, for what I thought was NO reason. Well, there is no good reason in OUR minds anyway. I immediately told him to go to time-out while I consoled the baby dolly. As he was yelling for daddy in t/o, I went over here and asked why he did that. He said it was because Nasya was going to get his John Deere's (which he has been playing with a alot lately) and in his mind he ALWAYS has a very serious reason - it is not usually to just be naughty. We are still learning......

Well, thats all the therapy for now. Until I have more time.......

The Mrs. Bigs Adventure....

Well, I had a wonderful surprise come about this week. My long time friend from college decided to come stay with me and the kids for a night - she thought it was to help so I could 'rest' - whatever. I'm just THRILLED to have ADULT conversation and she is sooooo great with Sam! He loves her and really responds to her. What a great birthday present - the best. We only see eachother once or twice a year and NEVER quality alone time to chat - like RIGHT now. OH, and I'm blogging:-) hahaha. It will be short and sweet.

This week has turned out to be such a great week - with Mrs. Bigs here, possibly seeing a friend from Iowa, lunch with Grandma, and whatever else is to come - it is the last year I'll be in my 30's so lets start it off GREAT!! Vacation Bible School started and now - Sam has actually begged me to TURN UP the music!!! He ALWAYS tells us to 'TURN THAT DOWN!!!!" and he actually wants to blast the VBS music, which is fine 'cause it's super music:-)!! I'm so thrilled - maybe now I can get back into my singing and cranking the tunes like I used to - I've MISSED it so much. Cross your fingers - he's always loved overtures and some classical - but I need variety - so it's a start!

Well - better stop dissin Mrs. Bigs - more later.

Sleep, Sleep, Where Art Thou Sleep?????????

Well, our lovely daughter has decided to also not sleep. We have been up hours at a time with her the last five nights. I think she is getting her two year molars, however my husband thinks she might be wanting a night light in her room. I put one in today and we shall see!! Once again, I NEED SLEEP!!!!! I am sooooo lacking, I struggle so much getting through a day. I then add guilt on top of that because I feel like I am not giving my kids (I know I'm not) what I want to give them - as far as attention and a lot more interaction. Now, Big Daddy is gone tomorrow afternoon through Thursday! The nights had better improve or I'm in BIG trouble!!

We are really working on getting Sam to understand he is NOT to 'parent' Nasya. Whenever he sees her doing something she shouldn't, he repeatedly hits her and knocks her down or does something that results in her getting hurt. He goes straight to time-out while I take care of dolly-doo-doos and comfort her. I take her to Sam and have him sincerely apologize to her and ask him why he hit her (primarily to find out his thinking since we are STILL figuring things out and probably always will be!). He always says its because she was doing something she shouldn't (only he describes in GREAT detail!) and we are trying to get him to understand that he needs to tell US and NOT do anything himself. He is not the one in charge and he seems to think he always needs to take matters in his own hands. I almost always see it coming, unfortunately I am usually not close enough to stop it! Very frustrating and I really feel for my baby girl!! Don't worry, she gets ToNS of kisses and lots of tickle time:-).

Update....not doing so great on trying to be PHAT, still fat. Lack of sleep, just plain down and out on life. Nothing I can really do about it unless I find a fantastic nanny for free to take over my nights so I can SLEEP. SLEEP SLEEP SLEEEP I need more - and I know that if I were to get quality sleep the rest would fall into place soooooo much easier! I don't think clearly, I drag through the day, I'm not the happy person I used to be, I don't have the motivation I used to. SO, for all you prayer warriors out there - I NEED SLEEP!!!!!!!

"Let's Start at the Very Beginning....."

I'm kind of going backwards - but I wanted to tell about our journey from the beginning. It took Don and I six years to have kids. We finally found out we were going to have a baby and God really knew what he was doing. (Duh!) We both wanted for me to be home with our children if/when we had them, but we were not really able to afford it until this time - so perfect. However, I had found a job that I loved, teaching ELL at GISH. Something about teaching kids that needed and really wanted to be taught (most of the time) was VERY rewarding!! Not to mention, so many of these kids came from such poor countries/villages, as teachers we were constantly challenged to give these students a purpose and reason to actually have dreams of what they could become! I digress.....

So, now the plans were for me to be a full time mom/wife and live the dream. The BEST summer of my life so far.....Don was the BEST first time dad-to-be. I was so spoiled and felt so good about everything, except when I had food poisoning, oh and Bells Palsy. October came and so did Samuel Joseph on October 9th. He was a couple weeks early and when he was born I barely got to hold him due to the fact he could not maintain his own oxygen levels. Needless to say the first three days were VERY rough on all of us in a nutshell. I felt I wasn't really able to bond with my new baby since he was in NICU the whole time. I only got to hold him with tubes attached when I fed him.

We then brought our Samuel home and were so excited to get to know him. Don was able to stay home for about a week and then he was on the road again. (Sorry if that tune is stuck in your head now -hahahahaha!!) Let the fun begin.

Sam cried/screamed almost every waking moment. I cried a lot. This was supposed to be a time of showing off your new baby, WANTING people to come visit, take him places, etc. None of this was really possible for us. It was stressful anytime people wanted to come over, unless he was sleeping. Don't get me wrong, we wanted family and friends around, but for uncontrollable cirumstances, it just wasn't enjoyable! We took him to the hospital for x-rays to see if he had acid reflux - what a joke. Most babies do and from what I understand, they grow out of it as they develop. Medicines did nothing, doctors did nothing except just stand there and look at me during appointments as I'm crying out for help - mind you, with a screaming baby in my arms!! They would just keep talking to me like there was NO baby in the room. I hated every moment and gave up on 'experts'!! Even up until this past January, everything was OUR fault as parents with regards to every 'issue' I would bring up. I'd mention his eating problems every appointment; bowels; sleep; advanced speech; etc. and NOTHING!! Connect the dots - or do these 'experts' not have the proper dots to connect? I wonder......I'm hoping to get through to doctors to LISTEN to their patients with regards to their children and be a little more perceptive. Not sure how.

I took matters into my own hands at the January appointment and looked the doctor straight in the eye and asked, "Would you please recommend a Behavior Therapist in the area!" And with that - I'll say, "To Be Continued...."

Overall - pretty good!

Hey - things have been pretty good around here. Of course we've had a few tantrums, breakdowns, etc. But the 'waking up' fits have really calmed down significantly! We go in spurts around here. I sure hope they never return, however we are always prepared, actually you can never be prepared for these......

Now we are dealing with horrible sleep in general. He absolutely won't go to bed at night. He gets up and up and up and up and has every excuse in the book no matter how 'hard' we discipline or deal with it. He has to be hugged again; he has to have his covers fixed; he has to have an eskimo kiss; he thinks he needs to rock-a-bye again, etc. It is now 10:45 and he's been 'in bed' since 9:15 - but not really.......Daddy is now dealing with him and he'll probably yell for me next. Yes, we've read Dobson, etc. talking about the tough way to handle this situation. We've tried. We've tried ignoring, spanking and so on. I don't know what to think of spanking and other disciplines with Sam - I don't know if he understands. Craig Kendall (author) and others have said that spanking doesn't do anything for AS kids. Still searching for answers......and probably always will be. My biggest concern right now is Sam getting up on time for Pre-School which starts in August. Right now we can't even be on time for daycare two mornings a week. If we can't get him to go to bed decent, we can't expect him to wake up decent! Vicious circle. If you have answers or GREAT ideas - do tell. Good night (I hope):-)

Long Time, No Blog:-)

Don't even know when I wrote last.......time REALLY flies around here! First off, I do realize I started this for my own sanity - however, I feel like a loser with only TWO followers:-) I know many more of you read it - don't be shy and be a follower if you wish - I'd LOVE to know who is supporting and keeping up with my beautiful family!! Or you may remain shy and please email me with your thoughts or whatever you wish:-)

OK - adventures around here never cease to exist. We intended to go to Kearney for Saturday & Sunday of this holiday weekend, and we did. Well, sort of. We went to Kearney and stayed at the Holiday Inn yesterday, ate, unpacked, changed into swim suits and enjoyed the mini-waterpark in the hotel. Went to the room, changed, rented a kiddo movie and Sya needed to go to sleep so Don took Sam out to the lawn (our room was on the side of the events center, so we could see the fireworks from our room) well, too loud for Sya to even remotely be interested in sleep! I gave up and took her to the window to "Oooooh and Ahhhh" at the beauty and saw daddy and Sam heading back up - needless to say, daddy did NOT look thrilled. Come to find out Sam could have cared less about the huge fireworks and instead just wanted to throw sand - anywhere and everywhere. (There is a sand volleyball court in the lawn) They get back to the room and Sam realizes this is where we are going to sleep. Thats when the fun REALLY ended. If we didn't calm him and reassure him 'now' it was going to get very ugly. Ugly is one thing in our home - where we can make/help him deal with things. Ugly in a hotel is a whole other story!! So, once we realized there was no negotiating, no talking him into it, no ANYTHING, I started packing and getting the kids loaded. We were home by 11:30 pm. Good thing the room was almost free with Don's points from traveling so much with work!! I think if Sam had taken a nap that day he would have been in a MUCH better frame of mind. Who knows. Don and I were both thrilled we decided not to go to Omaha!!!

Sam is really responding to the 'First, Then' chart. If there is something he needs to do but is refusing, I will use the visual chart for example - tonight he did not want to do his 'brush massage' actually refused - (a method that is used for kids/people with a certain sensory issue) but wanted his orange juice. So, I drew on his chart - 'First' - the brush; and 'Then' - his juice. And he totally cooperated - this time anyway:-)

So cute, Sam and Nasya were wrestling and kissing and laughing so much tonight - Sya loves her brother soooo much!! Just the way she looks at him and HAS to do everything he does. She is in the 'big girl' swing on the swing set - no more baby swing 'cause her brother doesn't use it! That's just one example. She wears his shoes allllllll the time in the house - and he doesn't get mad at her surprisingly. I digress.....but we do have such cute babies!! We adore them and love them so much - but Don did ask today if there was a camp we could send Sam to - he was just joking. But it gets to that point once in a while!

Well, enough for tonight. I am tired and have a headache. I must add Don was great - he let me go back to bed this morning:-) It is always nice when I can do that! I'm still tired - it will take quite a while for me to recoup the last four years - just hope it happens sooner than later.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!! I thank God for all of the wonderful friends and family - Happy 4th of July everyone.....