Wow. This Tuesday night was horrible. Don was gone - I was exhausted - Sam did not want to go to sleep - there is no human being or rocking chair that can go fast enough for him!!!!!!! Sya did not take a good nap at all that day so she was beyond tired and Sam was fighting me with everything. So - from 7:30-9:20 was absolutely awful! It's a good thing I had all ready gone out to the dog and threw the ball several times to get out some anger/frustration and waited a couple hours before typing -- I was not in a good frame of mind and would have probably said things I would have regretted......So - the kids are finally in bed after almost 2 hours of tantrums and poor Sya waiting to go to bed. I was finally able to go to bed at midnight (after another waking), oh, and then I got to go to bed again at 4AM after dealing with another awful waking from 1:30-4 - seriously. Sam woke - wanting 3 different things to drink, then I wasn't making them fast enough; then he wanted to rock and of course - you guessed it - it wasn't FAST ENOUGH!!! Then because it wasn't fast enough - he threw himself on the ground and was sooo out of sorts peed all over - again. So - now while he's melting down - I am cleaning him up and leaving the floor/clothes until I can get him back in to bed. At 3:45 - he is finally willing to lay in his floor bed - IF I lay down next to him. After a bit - I QUIETLY stand - walk out and wait at the door - just in case he notices and starts yelling. Sure enough - so I go back and lay down. By the time I look at my alarm I believe it was 4:15. Then - it's 6:40 time to wake him for pre-school - and Sya joins us.
It is now Thursday - the evening was better -other than his name calling, yelling, and fits are getting much more often. It is REALLY wearing me down. I didn't get a shower due to Sya crying off and on from 10:30-midnight - I finally just slipped into bed after rocking her and hoped for the best. She woke again a couple times and again at 6AM. OH NO you don't - back to bed after a little hot cocoa - her obsession right now - other than Buzz. Back to bed she goes - Sam wakes at 6:55 - good freakin morning - for real! It was AWFUL to say the least - trying to rock fast enough - thrashing, yelling, calling me several names, hitting me ( I am soooo grateful he does not know any cuss words and I hope to keep it that way!!). All the while - I'm beyond tired once again - and TRYING to muster up enough positive energy to deter my anger - I'm not having much success - I continue to try. After getting angry at me for not making his choc. drink fast enough; after walking 'in front' of him to go to the bathroom - he is so angry that he just stops in the kitchen and yells at me "I'm just going to pee in my pants" - he rarely lies. Now - he is yelling that he doesn't want to be clean - in other words he doesn't want me to clean him up. I get his clothes off - put a towel over the puddle and attempt to calm him - after another 10 min or so - he just decides to be upset at me because I'm not smiling.....WHAT~!!! So I mustered up a fake smile - and unfortunately he cannot tell the difference. I guess fortunately - for now. He calms and tells me I'm his princess and he wants to put his pants on. His 'niceness' lasted maybe 10 minutes - only to turn into name calling; naughty words - shut up; shut it' stupid mommy; idiot; moron; I hate you; etc. etc. So hard to ignore this - I am going to exhaust myself and go back to time outs and not sure what else. Well - gotta go pick him up from therapy and hope for the best.
Ipad - in a previous blog i mentioned wanting an ipad to help with Sam - it's not a luxury - there are literally hundreds of Apps that are specifically for Autistic/Asperger's kids. Not exactly something you can do with a computer.....and take anywhere!! Would hopefully be a HUGE tool in getting him to cooperate - without having to use a whiteboard and marker/eraser all the time!
No comments:
Post a Comment